By Richard Alleyne , Science Correspondent. British psychologists said that the phenomenon of the "cougar" — older women on the prowl for younger men — does not actually exist in the real world. They studied a number of online dating sites and found that men and women are still rather traditional when it comes to searching for their ideal partner. Women generally seek an older and, therefore hopefully, wealthier man whereas men desire a young and attractive female, and often prefer a much younger partner as they themselves age.
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What are the characteristics of cougar women?
A "cougar" is typically defined as an older woman who is primarily attracted to younger men, often involving a sexual relationship. Although there are no precise ages , the woman is usually 35 years or older with the man more than eight years her junior. Some people consider "cougar" to be a sexist, derogatory term , but the meaning varies from offensive to empowering depending on the person. The term "cougar" is an example of how modern culture defines and prescribes roles for heterosexual women and men in society; other similar stereotypes include sugar daddy and sugar mama. What these have in common—aside from an age difference—is an imbalance of power and wealth, with the wealth and power being held primarily by the older person. Other related terms of "alpha cougar," "beta cougar," and "sweet" or "angry" cougars appear to be categories invented by dating websites. Cougar relationships have appeared in pop culture over the years. Celebrity couples made up of older women and younger men include Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, who were 42 and 30, respectively, when they started dating in ; Sheryl Crowe 41 and Lance Armstrong 32 in ; Demi Moore 48 and Ashton Kutcher 27 in ; Rachel Hunter 37 and Jarret Stoll 24 in ; and Ivana Trump 59 and Rossano Rubicondi 36 in
Tessa isn't like the stereotypical idea of a mom. The last time we met, she was taking an hour off from shagging a year-old in east London while he waited for her in their hotel room. Tessa's not her real name, but I can say that she's years-old and was celibate for seven years while she was raising her year-old son on her own. Now that her son's gone to live with her dad, Tessa says she feels like she has her life back. Using dating website Toyboy Warehouse , she's fulfilled almost every sexual fantasy she can think of with younger guys. There's still no clear scientific consensus on when men and women hit their sexual peaks and how we can even define a person's sex drive, beyond the rudiments of how well our bits reach to stimulation. But I chatted to Tessa to get some of her insight on sexual fulfillment, contentment, and the quiet joy of getting crotchless pants delivered to your parents' house. Why do you think you're so into much younger guys?